Happy New year to my GDQ Fam
Ah! this year, we are GOING HARD, STRONG and RELENTLESS, because POWERED by Jesus, we will WORK OUT the LAVISH GRACE God has bestowed on us, and we will see fruit. Fruit that abides IN JESUS NAME, in our lives, our marriage and husband, parenting and kids, and homes in general… AMEN
Girl, how are you doing?
I am doing this post on the FIRST WORKING day of 2021 and my husband has just gone off to work, kids are still asleep and so I have this window or pocket of time to quickly do a blog
Today, I want to talk about 4 qualities or attributes we MUST all help our children imbibe, and from a young age. This is neither exhaustive or the Bible. I am sharing godly principles I apply in my home (hence the title) and I am seeing such fruit of it.
You know you have to be LED by the spirit of God in ALL THINGS, including how you apply this abi?
This is not the year we blindly copy and paste. We ask the HS to show us how to apply it to our own specific life, homes and season.
Ok so here we go. Meanwhile at the time of writing this, my kids are 6 (in 2 months) and 3years 3 months, just so you have some age context.
I will spend the least words here even though it is the FOUNDATION on which we build all. This is because right on this blog are a gazillion posts on the same, so feel free to explore.
Mama, you MUST raise your kids to have what James Dobson calls an ‘unshakeable love for Jesus’
Read the word to, with and over them. Pray with, for and over them. And MOST IMPORTANTLY, have an unshakeable love for Jesus and let them be motivated to have the same from watching you live your BEST LIFE for Jesus
I did this INCREDIBLE podcast with a sister girl Oge here and you may wanna click and enjoy for more on godly parenting
This is probably for me the BIGGEST after godliness. Recently, my sister and I were speaking, and one of the things we agreed was wrong with a lot of us in this generation is a gap in solid home training. As I train my kids in the way of God, I also train them to be RESPONSIBLE. I don’t excuse that they are 3 and 5. NO! Even at 3 and 5, they can be responsible. Interestingly, this blog post came to me as I was praying over them this morning as they slept at night. I was just declaring over them that they are responsible. They do not make me overwhelmed or continually raise my voice
They clean up after playing.
Like the Bible says in Ecclesiastes, there is a TIME for everything, and like I tell them, there is also a PLACE for EVERYTHING, and a CONSEQUENCE for every deed. That’s what it means to be RESPONSIBLE. That when I say it is time to do your school work, you sit your little tail down and focus till it is done. They do NOT have an attention span too short that they cannot focus. NO!!!! They focus when they get their cartoon time, sometimes for over an hour straight. You BETTER focus when I send you to go and keep something in the kitchen and bring another thing.
I train them not to be DISTRACTED and they even repeat it to themselves.
I train them to systematically arrange their things when they get back from school. In the past, they would throw bags, shoes, socks, lunch boxes, etx anywhere and my help would now be picking up.
RESPONSIBILITY is a MAJOR reason I let my help go.
I DO NOT CLEAN UP AFTER THEM
They clean up after themselves BECAUSE in this home, WE DO OUR SHARE OF THE WORK. Please, and thank you.
(Download the FREE #BoysOlorun curriculum and enjoy more of these here)
“You keep everything in its place and NOTHING stays on the floor”.
“You clean up your toys when it is time to eat or sleep, not leave them littered”.
“You clean the floor if you make a mess” (and I clean afterwards if they can’t do it so well yet)
I have been known to wake someone from sleep to come and clear the living room from toys, please.
I DO NOT CLEAN UP AFTER ANY CHILD!!!!
We must teach our children RESPONSIBILITY, Moms.
They are NOT too young to learn it.
Lay a SOLID RESPONSIBILITY foundation now so that later in life, they do not frustrate YOU first (See Prov 29v 15), their teachers, friends, employers, colleagues, and spouse.
It is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to teach your children RESPONSIBILITY at home
Let me leave this point on that ‘pun intended’ note
3. PATIENCE and DELAYED GRATIFICATION
I am unsure whether to put this point now or as point 4 as the next 2 points are so related.
Kids are naturally impatient. They want it and they want it NOW.
You will INTENTIONALLY teach them to delay gratification and be patient. Let the Holy Spirit show you how specific to your own kids. I have even been known to DELAY meal times (especially when I know their meal records and all) so they know that life doesn’t always give you immediately your demand. WAITING is part of life. Even God waits
And therefore will Jehovah wait, that he may be gracious unto you; and therefore will he be exalted, that he may have mercy upon you: for Jehovah is a God of justice; blessed are all they that wait for him.
Isa 30:18 ASV
And patience is a fruit of the spirit.
You do not want SPOILED ENTITLED kids. And this is beyond food. They want you to help them do or fix something and you are doing something else. You say wait and they keep hovering and whining. DO NOT LEAVE WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO ANSWER THEM. Be firm and let them know if they keep harassing and hassling you, there is a consequence for that. And you too, don’t over stretch the wait ooo. The right amount of delay will get the job done. You can even tell them you will give them XYZ (maybe a reward, or an outing, etx) tomorrow or next week, and because kids want it now, that process of WAITING will teach them patience very well.
They don’t get to SHOUT and we JUMP.
TEACH THEM PATIENCE
4. GRATITUDE and CONTENTMENT
No wonder the Bible says godliness with contentment is GREAT GAIN
Now godliness with contentment is great gain.1 Timothy 6:6 NKJV
Gosh, kids can be so entitled BUT it is your job to drive that VERY FAR AWAY from them as you TEACH and TRAIN them to say THANK YOU for everything and be CONTENT with it without wanting more, or checking what another got. You would agree with me that it can almost feel like your kids’ appetite can never be satiated naturally.
You give X and they now want Y.
You allow a 30min TV time and when it is up, they start griping and complaining.
See ehn, those moments are TRAINING MOMENTS right there.
Call them and let them know that everything you extend to them is a PRIVILEGE not a RIGHT including PLAY and LEISURE. Even food. INSIST on GRATITUDE
They MUST say THANK YOU MUMMY (or whoever) no matter how they feel, and they must do it in a happy way.
DISCIPLINE appropriately if they do not and until they adjust. Withdraw that privilege temporarily or permanently if you have to. TRAINING is not fun at the moment but they are going to learn and be alright
Don’t let it slide ooo
I love this Bible verse that says
Do all things without complaining and arguing,
Philippians 2:14 NLT
It takes a bit of repetition but trust me, one day they will get it
The thing is we moms can mostly be INCONSISTENT so we confuse them
Today, we let them run off without a thank you, or get away with whining when the TV goes off. Tomorrow, we are screaming when they do the same thing
Kids not only need BOUNDARIES but CONSISTENCY in how we parent.
So be CONSISTENT, ma
Like Paul said
Now all discipline seems to be more pain than pleasure at the time, yet later it will produce a transformation of character, bringing a harvest of righteousness and peace to those who yield to it.
Hebrews 12:11 TPT
I am sure there are more but these are what I am working very actively on in my kids in this season
Since I let my help go some three months back, I have seen such tremendous progress in their overall behavior and character. So beautiful to see the FRUIT of all my hard work and I want to ASSURE you moms, that I am NO BETTER than you, neither are MY KIDS. It is a matter of PRINCIPLES which I have shared here, and the DISCIPLINE, DILIGENCE and CONSISTENCY applying its demands
Great GRACE to us all, Mama
Happy New Year again and God bless you and your Kingdom
Rock it out, Queen…
Love & Prayers
God’s Domestic Queen
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I really appreciate it