Ah, so I sent out an email to those on our mailing list, and based on feedback, I wanted to expand it and make it a blog post.
Btw, if you are reading this and would want to join the list, here is the link you need below, and I added the one for my weight loss/healthy living coaching too
Ok so I was talking about how this pandemic and the resultant shut down is affecting all of us differently, but hey one thing we cannot discount is the fact that since it has kept us all AT HOME, then home REALLY is something to not take lightly or casual.
In fact, I watched this Priscilla Shirer video and it was EVERYTHING that the Lord had been speaking to me about in this season, using my life as an example
OK, full disclosure, sister girl had me when she used the scripture of Jerusalem (which represents your home), Judea, and Samaria and the rest of the world to drive home her point (Pun intended with “drive home” btw lol). I could not believe the revelation. I just keep telling myself that I must be DEEP in this life. Gosh, how do some people READ THEIR BIBLES? I am going to need Shirer to lay her whole body on me.
Side bar: Shirer was the very first person the Lord used to help me out of my stupidity back then when I was frustrated and jealous in my season at everyone else. I had quit my job in the United Nations to be a full time mom and the fact that I made a first class and was best grad student, made it worse for me. I could not believe this was now my life… diapers, breast pumps, baby language, and poo. I used to be SO MAD that TWICE I locked my husband OUT OF THE HOUSE. He had to break the door to get access in.
Yup, your girl was CRAY CRAY.
One time I almost uprooted and smashed the TV.
This is why I am so INTO JESUS. Without Him, you would not believe Eziaha.
Anyways, War room was released, I was introduced to Shirer, and I leaned in more.
I could not believe all I was learning from her. First, there was this woman, VERY SUCCESFUL at what we would call ministry, traveling round the world to preach, now actor in a movie that crashed the internet and cinemas around the world, and all she wanted to be associated with her was the tag “wife and mom”. She always always put her family FIRST
And I knew she was sincere in her submissions
She had the life I dreamed of, yet wanted more time to invest in the life I now had and despised.
That, my sisters, is how my salvation started again.
She gave me the right foundation, and right there at home, I decided I would fully immerse in my season, quit being a frustrated stay at home mom, have my bath EARLY (hey, AMEN. That’s a word for some of you), and completely steward my assignment from God to my family in obedience and submission.
Above all, I decided I would be JOYFUL and FRUITFUL on this ride.
I didn’t have this work from home, I was BROKE a lot (one time I backed my 10month old and trekked to the ATM, a journey that would have cost N50 by bus but I didn’t have it, to withdraw 3k my hubby had sent me. Phew), BUT I was determined that my joy, worth, value and identity would come from only ONE SOURCE
Really could not have made up the story and journey of my life by myself.
Wait, HOW DID WE GET HERE?
That diverted real fast, but hey, I believe the Lord needed me to say that for some of you reading.
Just in case my life seems fairytale, NOPE honey, I fought for this life I now have.
But the better term would be, I DIED and keep DYING DAILY for this life I now have
“I affirm, by the boasting in you which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily”1 Corinthians 15:31 NKJV
God is good.
Anyways, I was telling us about how the pandemic should impact our relationship with our first ministry… Hubby and Kids.
You see, Sis, this is really about TIME!!!
Time management, especially in how I allot it.
If you are like me, DOMESTIC gets a very generous chunk, because I don’t have a help and I have three men to feed.
Then I need to spend quality time with my kids creating memories.
I mean, we cannot send them anywhere or to anyone. They are with us 247.
Are you going to PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE and connect with your kids?
Or are we going to continue to chase and nurture the shallow, fake, weak, on-screen friendships and relationships that don’t matter at all?
I think it is so easy to complain about not having time, but if we both audited your time, we would see just what is taking the bulk of our attention.
I don’t want us to miss one of the absolute gifts COVID has given to us… The gift of TIME to be invested in our families.
I mean, we literally have NO CHOICE.
We are all LOCKED DOWN at home with ourselves. Why not create memories?
Involve them in cooking, working out, laundry, mopping, and just generally let them drive conversations while you encouragethem to talk.
While in the kitchen, I like to be getting something into my mind and spirit, so YouTube is mostly playing, but sometimes, I just let my sons’ gist me anything. Such a beautiful bonding time. Sometimes they wash their own dishes while I supervise.
I started to intentionally save a few workout sessions in a week to when they are awake so they join me. My sons LOVE to work out. Their fave trainer is Keaira Lashea because she is so dancey and all
I involve my kids in laundry. They load and unload the washing machine. They give me the pegs when I am spreading them. They help to sort out their clothes when we bring them in.
I definitely involve them in cooking. They wash their hands and help me add my spices. They LOVE it and it really costs me nothing, yet we are creating memories and winning.
They join me when I make smoothies. All they do is turn the knobs on and off but you need to see how excited they are about it, and how they FIGHT for their turns.
Then I make screen time work FOR ME. If I need absolutely no interruptions, I send them to the screen. Of course, we do only the safe cartoons.
No Vamparina here.
Like last weekend, hubby and I just wanted to spend time alone on Netflix. I mean, if they charged me for my first month, I better use it. (Yup, they took away the FREE option for some countries including Nigeria, cos I reached them when I saw they charged my card.), so we let them watch marathons on YouTube while we focused on our movie for I think 2 hours, after which we took the screen time back.
Now speaking of your husband, girl, are you INVESTING in your marriage?
Time, Prayers and the right resources?
Are you even READING about marriage?
I know your husband ACTS CRAZY BUT where is your armor?
Are you NAKED or fighting in the flesh?
Are WE ALL letting the Holy Spirit in us PRODUCE some fruits…?
Love. Joy, Peace… Patience, Kindness, Goodness… Faithfulness, Gentleness and self-control?
Or are we sowing all the wrong seeds and seeing all the wrong fruits?
I tell you WHAT I AM LIVING, Honey.
I have had ONE HUNDRED BILLION opportunities to cut up at my husband.
I am SLAMMED with all I have to do, but whether he helps or not, I just ask God for strength and do.
The day he helps me sweep the living room, I thank Him very well.
Wash plates? I am so grateful.
But if he doesn’t, I wash all my plates with joy.
I can complain, gripe, demand (after all we both live here), and so on, but babes, I am wise ooo.
I serve and treat him like a King, including in his meals.
Many times I am EXHAUSTED but I want to see some REAL GOOD FRUITS in my marriage so I SOW THE RIGHT SEEDS.
I turn up for SEX tired ALMOST every time, but I decided that if this is important to him, I would swallow my tiredness and submit my body (and insist on also ENJOYING IT TOO).
Sister, no marriage is working just like that ooo.
Wives, WISE WIVES, are dying daily.
And guess what? It get easier the more you practice dying…
And as you walk with the spirit, He customizes your own “dying” wisdom to suit what your marriage needs. He knows your husband, I don’t, so let’s all stick to Him.
Are you praying, honey?
Or are you complaining to everyone, their mama and their neighbor’s dogs?
Are you on YOUVERSION Bible app, doing marriage devotionals and applying it?
Are you on Netflix watching the right movies…? (Hey, I recommend Overcomers, Extraordinary, Fireproof, and War room.)
Lol. The time is 7.15 am and I have been writing this since 6.30 am. Hubby just got up and came, greeted me, saw me writing, said “Oh, you write as inspired, so let me not break your flow” and left. Ha-ha.
Anyways, time is going so let me wrap this up
I am going to do something I NEVER thought I would do…
So I have a couple of wives with whom we pray WEEKLY over Zoom for over a year. Sunday midnight into Monday for anything between 1 and 1 and half hours. It is time to open it up. I share the prayer points via whatsapp, we pray over Zoom, and also take the communion and anoint ourselves and homes.
If you would like to join the prayers via Zoom (not a whatsapp group, please), then holler via email with your whatsapp number and every Sunday, the prayers and links would be sent to you and you join us.
Email is firstname.lastname@example.org
Excited to welcome a few more praying chicks.
Let’s start to put down some SEEDS OF PRAYERS into our marriage so we can actually START to reap some REAL GOOD FRUITS in our marriages and homes.
Marriage is a good GOD-thing and even though it is hard work, it is the BEST and MOST REWARDING hard work you will EVER DO
God bless you, Sis. And don’t forget to watch the Shirer video.
And then share this blog with your wife friends, if you are a good friend ooo) and feel free to drop a comment too
God’s Domestic Queens
I did this interview with Berry Dakara of the Mommy Oyoyo podcast.
It was SO GOOD. I have been getting amazing feedback. You can check it out here
Or if you have an iPhone, find it on Podcasts
Please drop her a comment as it definitely helps visibility.
I just did two post on sabotaging, one of which talks about self sabotage on your weight loss journey and the other about the lies the enemy tells to sabotage us. You should check it out
Hey, if you are looking to lose weight and bring healthy back, NOW IS THE TIME honey.
Let’s do this for our families.
My heart just breaks when I see moms not being intentional about feeding their children and husbands right, and even eating anyhow. Phew.