Looking beyond the behavior.

Hello Hello GDQs

So this post was originally posted on this blog in 2020. It’s such a fantastic topic and I know as moms we will greatly benefit from it again. Let’s roll!

I’ve been reading James Dobson’s books for a while now and I love this post from DARE TO DISCIPLINE

The art of good parenthood revolves around the interpretation of meaning behind behavior…

This quote is so deep I want to camp here a bit by telling a story

I am a mom of 2 boys, 1 almost 5 and the other 2.

As most MOB moms notice, boys touch/fondle/play with their private parts 

I’ve spoken to quite some moms who beat, shame, or condemn their toddlers cos of it.

But that’s normal.

Absolutely normal.

A normal part of their development, while is self discovery. 

Beating him is frankly useless.

You can gently correct and guide him but don’t make a big deal of a normal development 

So the behavior is not what we judge ; it is the MEANING behind that behavior, which is self discovery. 

I like what JD said in another of his books as he mentioned this briefly..

penis and be shaking it at us… while smiling mischievously. 

I’ve learned to gently correct him and unlook.

If I make a big deal of it, he will be tempted to keep doing it.

He is not being sexual, he is walking in a development stage called self discovery 

It’s not the behavior, it’s the meaning behind behavior which I interpreted and acted on…

Let me share another

If I shout on or spank my first son, he typically says something and for him, that something has to pain me lol

So one thing he says is usually against the Bible or a spiritual discipline 

Eg, he can say something like

Mummy, I dont like to read my bible, or

Mummy, I dont like to share

Now, what he says is not as important as the reason or meaning behind his words….

He is upset, so he is trying to do something to upset me.

He knows I love to teach him from the bible so if he says something about it, it should pain me like what I did to him pained him.

If he knows I like him to watch cartoon and keep quiet, then he can say something related to that…

Mummy I will not watch my cartoon again
Mummy I will not eat my food again

The behavior is one thing, but the meaning behind it shows me where my values are with him

Instead of being angry with him, I am like Eziaha, you are doing a great job abeg…

Forget what the boy is saying and take a minute to enjoy the fruit of your parenting.

Your son knows it is a Jesus related thing that is the most important to me.

How do we interpret behavior correctly ?

Sis, by reading. 

Please this year we are intentional about our parenting and commit to reading.

You dear GDQ are a READING MOM

Reading removes confusion, ma. 

Reading makes parenting more interesting. 

Reading enriches your domestic life.

Babes, let’s read

On my personal blog www.eziaha.com, I did a list of my January reads 

Check it out here

Also I did a blog here on how to be a reader at home.

Also check it out here

If you have questions on reading which I didnt cover in those posts, let me know in the comments

Reading is also fun with friends. I have a group of ladies I read a book a month with… It also helps us stay accountable 

Please sis, let’s be intentional moms this year

I’m rooting for you and I cant wait to see the upturns in your life as you read intentionally and apply with wisdom

Love you and also praying for you


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