Hey Mama,
Been a minute here and I apologize. January was too fast, too full and a little too furious for me as I lacked human help at work and home for a while.
I’m coming into some stability this month so we should see some regularity here.
January also taught me something I didnt know about myself…
That I was SCARED for and about my kids.
Let me tell you a little about the warrior and the prophet.
They are HYPER
Like, I mean hyper extra, no chill, always ON kinda boys. They are possibly the kind of boys I would see in their elements publicly or even at home and eye the mother for now getting her acts together and control them, if I were not their mom.
So I started to be scared of taking them out in public. I feared that they would behave in a way that would make people judge me.
I also started spanking more at home. Yes I do believe in spanking and I do believe that there are things you overlook in kids, but overlook as I did, the things that warranted and GOT SPANKING were a lot. It seemed like I needed cane to get anything done.
And trust the HS, He kept nudging me that there had to be a better way to get them to be obedient
Then I saw a story in one of the books I read this January, Bringing up boys by James Dobson.
The woman was out in a supermarket and her son was being plain naughty, but she kept her cool, and her tone of voice didnt change while she spoke to him. He kept throwing tantrums, insisting on his way, and so on. It was an embarrassing moment but if she was embarrassed, she didnt show it.
She was cool as a cucumber outside. Then as the drama increased cos he wanted a certain toy or so, she gently bent down and whispered to him,
“You know we don’t reward that kind of behavior ” plus something about disciplining him at home.
The boy mellowed
James said he had to commend the woman abeg.
Most moms in that situation would be harried, outwardly embarrassed and most likely scream or spank the child (and I agree that some situations NEED spanking outside ) but what that woman showed us all was that
- We are NOT always responsible for the naughty behavior of our kids. Sometimes they are in TRANSITION stage and so both outside and inside, we should get ready for tantrums that have NOTHING to do with our parenting style or sucess.
Its transition. If people choose to judge us based on that, then really thats their tea to drink. You just focus. You don’t now beat the kids cos you are embarrassed that people think whatever. And most times, we even resort to name calling like “you this naughty/stupid/stubborn boy…” cos you really have been thrown off kilter because of opinions of others.
2. You determine your reaction and not your kids tantrum. Some situations demand I raise my voice especially if danger is lurking. Most however can see me maintain the same tone, but increase the sternness. I dont have to shout all the time. That’s not discipline, that’s bullying.
And the final one, I learned as I took it to God
3. I actively pray about it
I’m now doing the night prayers over them as they sleep. My key scripture remains
Luke 2
Then he returned to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. And his mother stored all these things in her heart.
Luke 2:51 NLT
Jesus was obedient to the authority in his life so I declare that they are obedient to me, their dad, teachers and domestic help.
I also use
God designed us to feel remorse over sin in order to produce repentance that leads to victory. This leaves us with no regrets. But the sorrow of the world works death.
2 Corinthians 7:10 TPT
My kids are very quick to apologise cos they want something from you, not cos they are repentant. So I pray that their apologies are FOR REAL and cause them to truly repent, that is turn away from sin.
Now I dont just pray it, I say it all day. When I see naughty behavior, my language is not laced with frustrations. I say
You are obedient to authority figures
You are a Jesus boy
You repent of sin
I cast out every spirit of Disobedience in Jesus name
You apologise and repent
Your heart beats for Jesus
I spank when I have to but spanking or not, I use the koboko of the Word.
Spanking alone can do nothing. It can even toughen behavior as they increasingly grow resistant to the incessant flogging
But speaking the word over them, PLUS necessary use of the rod, ehen that can lead to real change
Cheers to supernatural parenting Moms.
Let’s do it together and leave spanking all the time.
We got this. We are in this together. Victory is sure cos God is on our side.
We will not parent with fear
Neither will our parenting be influenced by man’s judgement
We parent with the Lord… with love that involves discipline, grace, mercy and kindness
God help us all in Jesus name, amen
Do you have any stories and successes? Please share.
And hey if you are on my mailing list, I already sent an email for this quarters GDQ mentoring.
If you are NOT on our list, PLEASE join in, please see link below.
I’ll send the final email out on Saturday. That’s 8th February.
I pray those God wants on find it and apply. I’m taking between 6 to 8 GDQs only and all I’ll be teaching from the curriculum is in the mail I’m sending out. I dont share it on the blog.
Again click here to join the mailing list and also tell your friends.
Some info I mail are too personal for the blog so join that party
Hugs and love
Strength and Grace
GDQ Eziaha
PS
I shared my January reads here
Also my second quarter reads here
Plus some great reading tips and how I determine what I read
If you wanna grow in your reading, please check out both posts on www.eziaha.com
For instance, this month am reading Dare to discipline by same author, and all the gist is on the blog.
PPS
Wanna join our GDQ mailing list for Stay at home moms?
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To join CoachE’s mailing list
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(Both are new lists so even if you get our emails, pls sign up)